It seems to me that wives often believe they’re trapped in a game of Old Maid. The Old Maid is the if-I-don’t-do-it-it-will-never-get-done card in the marriage game. Though married, many women play the fastidious Old Maid--cooking, cleaning, keeping calendars, carpooling, and caring for kids.  If we wives didn't take on every responsibility, it might never get done--or get done right--and our husbands might just fold if the card switched hands. 

We seem to think our husbands really have no idea how much we do.  We complain about that mile-long list of what we must accomplish in the day (yet we would still complain if our husbands shared the load or suggested it wasn’t important to do.)  Because we never have time to write down all the accomplishments in our scorebooks, we just keep track of it in our heads.  In our heads, the score becomes inflated in our favor, especially when our husbands threaten to tip the score unfairly. It's like having the comfort of a concealed weapon while playing poker in the Wild West--easy ammunition when we feel we might lose.

"Always" and "Never" are frequently used check boxes on the marriage scorecard.  "I always have to get up for the baby" and "You never remember to take the garbage out" can score you triple bonus points when competing against your husband.  His points don't count, of course. And then there's the "Last Straw" meticulously checked on the marriage scorecard.  The Last Straw functions like a "Go Directly to Jail and Do Not Pass Go" card drawn from the Chance pile in Monopoly.  It goes something like, "I keep picking up all your dirty socks because you never get them in the laundry basket. I’m never picking them up again.  Wash your own laundry!"   We wives think these extreme statements should be the logical calculations in the marriage game, and men act as though it's all up to Chance.

I'll present my scorecard to St. Peter at the gates of heaven and he'll be sure to let me in with my stellar score.  Unless he decides to crumple it up and shoot it into the trash basket for a three point shot . . . like a typical man.